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Monday, January 4th, 2010

pairodox

3:10p Memes in their place 1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? I climbed a mountain and traveled to a foreign country. I visited Boston. Woot for that. 2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't know, and can't be arsed. I didn't make resolutions for this year. Just plans. Evil plans, of global domination. Or maybe just adventures. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My sister had a child. I think it was a girl. I don't know her name. 4. Did anyone close to you die? Not particularly. 5. What countries did you visit? Greece! 6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Same things I lacked in 2008 and 2007. 7. What date(s) from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Jan. 8th, because friends were coming from out of town then. September 12 for my first Greek Wedding. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Finally getting out of the gorrham country. 9. What was your biggest failure? Heart got quite a bit smaller and harder, despite everyone's best efforts (fortunately it was over-sized to begin with). 10. Did you suffer any illness or injury? Not particularly. 11. What was the best thing you bought? Tickets to Greece and Maine, a lot of fabric, postage. 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Everyone's. The people who disappointed me will never read this, so they aren't worth considering. But everyone who is reading this, they are good people who mean the world to me. And they should remember that. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? See the above. 14. Where did most of your money go? Same place it always goes: incredibly good food. And travel made up more than normal. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Orlando, Greece, Maine, Massachusettes, craft projects and letters. 16. What song will always remind you of 2009? I don't think any will. While I love music, I am bad about associating it to anything more refined than a decade. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? I think I am still the same: Mostly despondent with hope. ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter iii. richer or poorer? I am guessing poorer. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Same thing I always wish I were doing more of. Spending time with my loved ones. 19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Working. 20. How did you spend Christmas? Family meals by day, and friendly meals by night. 22. Did you fall in love in 2009? For the first time in a long time, I can say no. There was no new love in this year. 23. How many one-night stands? Like every year except one, there were none. 24. What was your favorite TV program? I believe "Leverage" was my favorite TV show this year. 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don't think there is anyone I hate. Just behaviors and social tendencies. 26. What was the best book you read? I really liked "American Gods", which I squeezed in for the first time, just as the year was running out. "The Historian" also is at the top of my list. I don't think I read that much else, but time is unclear for me. What year did I read "Fool" in? I really fucking loved that book. 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Was Brandi Carlile this year? I really enjoy her. Other than that, I just keep trying to fill in the gaps of all the great music I found the years before. 28. What did you want and get? Vacations in Maine and Greece. 29. What did you want and not get? The rest of the stuff I wanted. 30. What was your favorite film of this year? Zombieland. Fuck yeah. 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Big fucking party, burned down a tree (dried christmas tree saved for the occasion). 32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? What I am hoping will happen this year, but probably won't. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Same as every other year: T-shirt and blue jeans, this year seasoned with a little more "Why should I fucking bother?" 34. What kept you sane? Nothing. I am batshit crazy. deal. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Marisa Tomei, for fulfilling some of my adolescent fantasies. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? The slow and steady destruction of nature. 37. Who did you miss? Myself and my friends. 38. Who was the best new person you met? All the wonderful people I met in Greece. 39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009: Keep fighting. The Game's crooked, but it's the only game in town. 40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I am stealing Davin's, because while I haven't heard the song, it works: There is a war going on for your mind. If you are thinking, you are winning. Resistance is victory. Defeat is impossible. Your weapons are already in hand. Reach within you, and find the means by which to gain your freedom. Fight with tools. Your fate, and that of everyone you know, depends on it. current mood: determined current music: Crown of Creation - Ride

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Sunday, January 3rd, 2010

wsasianboy

8:59p Enough of The Sadness. Armor on. 2010. The rebuild begins.

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Saturday, January 2nd, 2010

thryn

2:32p The wool I've gathered all these days So I have listened to Toad the Wet Sprocket's "Coil" a fair bit this past year. And the year before, for that matter. I identify pretty deeply with "Dam Would Break." And I hear "Throw it All Away" and I wish I could embrace it. I have to now. It's the only way I can flourish. "With the time I waste on the life I never had, I could have turned myself into a better man" 2009 was rough. I won't go into details here, but some of you know some of them. A lot of what made it such a difficult year was my inability or unwillingness to let go of things, to declutter my life both physically and mentally/emotionally. I spend most of my life in my head, in a world of what-ifs and might-have-beens. I script conversations that haven't happened yet. I replay the ones that did, trying to extract every scrap of meaning, every piece of information that I can. On one level, I'm pretty happy with myself. On another, I've essentially become an emotional cripple because I have so much trouble living in the present. I let fear and self-doubt keep me from recognizing and appreciating my accomplishments. I look to others for validation, and even knowing what a setup for disappointment that is, I can't seem to stop. "'cause there ain't nothing you can buy, there ain't nothing you can save to fill the hole inside your heart -- so throw it all away" I am entirely too good at holding patterns. It's time I learned to live in the moment. To let things go. I can't hold on to everything. Doing that, with both the tangible and the intangible, was comfortable for a while ... but now my head is full and my heart is full and my house is full and my life is full. I basically need to become a Buddhist, but I'd be a pretty awful one, so I'm just going to shoot for cleaning house and focusing on the immediate as much as possible. I know that's what I need to do to free myself from myself. Now, if anyone knows how to do it ... "Take the dreams that should have died, the ones that kept you lying awake when you should have been all right, and throw them all away."

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Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

wsasianboy

9:22p So Up in the Air. Isolation. Lack of human contact. Obsessive fixation with work and arcane materialistic goals that cost everything and are worth nothing. A shining glimmering moment of pure joy brought about by deviating from The Plan that goes horribly horribly wrong. Dear Hollywood. Stop reading my brain. It was cute with shit like Domino and Burn Notice but now its just mean. Someone out there please tell me I am more than a parenthesis?

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kiddeternity

2:42a Like Crooked Teeth ( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

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wsasianboy

12:55a I got a workout book for Christmas so between that and my overloads for the Spring term I should have a pretty full life. A Work Ork life but hey it beats drinking gin until you are lying face down on the floor listening to Johnny Cash, Tom Waits, and Sarah Mclachlin. Sorry. Too truthful there. I also have The Great Seattle Trip to plan for and my father has now said that if I want to keep my convertable we can trade in my mom's car so we can get a Camaro. traslation: so he can have access to a Camaro or a convertable. One day I'm going to get a call from the cops saying they arrested my dad getting high and making out with my mom in the back seat of my sports car at "the Lake." Maybe he can go out and have all the fun in life for me instead so I can just do what I'm good at. Sorry, I'm beat up tonight. I tried the new book's new workouts at the Y the last couple of days and I'm in pain. Which is good. It gives me focus. It keeps my dark sides and dark places at bay. Mostly. But I'm tried and the emotions are bleeding in a bit. Sometimes I really want to punch the world in the face. Hey is that Johnny Cash? And a bottle of gin? time to self medicate the pain away....

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Thursday, December 24th, 2009

wsasianboy

6:53p 2 things I learned from james Bond, specifically Q. 1. Never let them see you bleed. 2. Always have an escape plan. Nice to see that at the end of it all, the tradecraft never fails me.

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